Onslaught

er who appears to be an amalgamation of Josef Mengele and Dr. Strangelove — fails to land. In fact, given the character's parodic underpinnings, he might have worked better in a comedy. The set-up seems oddly familiar: genetically engineered super soldiers escape a nearby military bunker and go on a pointless killing spree, murdering everything that moves in their path. It's 1992's sci-fi actioner **UNIVERSAL SOLDIER**, except without the charm of Van Damme or the psychotic menace of Dolph Lundgren. Co-written with Simon Barrett, Wingard's film appears to have fallen prey to an overzealous final cut that strips away some necessary exposition. (Why exactly does Rebecca Hall's character inexplicably have literal blood on her hands during one interstitial telephone scene that comes with zero set-up?) MMA fans who recognized Alex "Poatan" Pereira in the opening credits are likely to be equally underwhelmed, with his zero dialogue and brooding stares amounting to little more than physical presence as one of three super soldiers who bring an orgy of death to a small New Mexico desert town. Seemingly caught in their path of destruction is a rundown trailer park managed by single mom and military vet Celeste, played by Adria Arjona. As the super soldiers turn the mobile home park into Swiss cheese for the crime of simply being in their way, Celeste — with the help of Reginald VelJohnson's Josiah — fights back. Wingard and Barrett seem more committed to developing Arjona's character at the expense of more interesting characters such as Stevens' Kimmler and his wife, Hanna Kimmler (Hall) — which is a shame, as the film ends with an end-titles sequence suggesting a follow-up could be in the works. Heaven help us. A flimsy plot, a paint-by-numbers action set-up, and — dare I say it — the wasting of Arjona's considerable talent make **ONSLAUGHT** a muddled, lifeless mess that proves all the blood, bullets and body count in the world can't resurrect a movie with no pulse.

he corrupt government would have kept churning out coverups as they butchered their way across the American heartland, until literally everyone in America was dead, including all members of the government. That's the canon second half of this movie: Total annihilation! Fatalities, everywhere! Why give me this spectacle, and then ruin it like this? Fuck you, movie. Commit to the bit. I think the new "Resident Evil" spoiled me. <SNORTS>